I deleted my old blog after rereading it several times last year. I didn't want to save anything from it. It just wasn't me anymore. I didn't write for a long while because writing didn't mean anything to me. The thoughts in my head were a mess and I was not emotionally stable. Not saying I am now...but it's been a journey.
I restarted this blog because I actually have a lot to say and no one to say it to. I have opinions but I always don't share them with the people around me because no one gets them. I usually end up having to explain the things I say which leads me to frustration. So I decided to come back to blogging. Telling strangers might make a difference or it just might not. I will never know if someone has actually read these words of mine but they're out of me. They're out of my mind and in that small fleeting moment, however small if may be, comes a moment of peace.
I called this blog Musings of an Influenced Mind because my mind is greatly influenced. I mean aren't we all? We're all objects of influence. We influence and we're influenced. Our reality is built on these perceptions we create based on ideas conceived by influences we have around us. Don't believe me?
Ask yourself, when you're at that dinner table looking around at the faces of your family and relatives, aren't you thinking about the thing someone else in the family told you about them? Or when you're in your classroom looking at that little boy or girl sitting in front of you, aren't you thinking of the thing their previous teacher told you about this little person? Or that moment you look into the eyes of the one you love and wonder, do they really love you or is it just your perception built on the observation of others?
This causes you to spiral and wonder about love, lies, life, reality and suddenly it all stops. In a short moment of clarity you realise you don't even know if your thoughts are your own anymore. Then you give up. Thinking about it hurts a little at first and there's never a probable answer in that mind of yours. So instead you choose to turn off your mind and turn on Netflix staring blankly at a moving picture on the screen while lost in thought. Thoughts you cannot begin to comprehend and you realise in that moment that it's all true - it's all an influence.
I restarted this blog because I actually have a lot to say and no one to say it to. I have opinions but I always don't share them with the people around me because no one gets them. I usually end up having to explain the things I say which leads me to frustration. So I decided to come back to blogging. Telling strangers might make a difference or it just might not. I will never know if someone has actually read these words of mine but they're out of me. They're out of my mind and in that small fleeting moment, however small if may be, comes a moment of peace.
I called this blog Musings of an Influenced Mind because my mind is greatly influenced. I mean aren't we all? We're all objects of influence. We influence and we're influenced. Our reality is built on these perceptions we create based on ideas conceived by influences we have around us. Don't believe me?
Ask yourself, when you're at that dinner table looking around at the faces of your family and relatives, aren't you thinking about the thing someone else in the family told you about them? Or when you're in your classroom looking at that little boy or girl sitting in front of you, aren't you thinking of the thing their previous teacher told you about this little person? Or that moment you look into the eyes of the one you love and wonder, do they really love you or is it just your perception built on the observation of others?
This causes you to spiral and wonder about love, lies, life, reality and suddenly it all stops. In a short moment of clarity you realise you don't even know if your thoughts are your own anymore. Then you give up. Thinking about it hurts a little at first and there's never a probable answer in that mind of yours. So instead you choose to turn off your mind and turn on Netflix staring blankly at a moving picture on the screen while lost in thought. Thoughts you cannot begin to comprehend and you realise in that moment that it's all true - it's all an influence.
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